Lars Callieou assaulted me
His full Legal Name is Lars Adolphus Callieou.
On June 2, 2011, I walked into the Century Casino to attend
a Comedy Show at the Yuk Yuks Edmonton Comedy Club.
I entered the Comedy Club at approximately 7:10 pm. There
were some people sitting in the audience waiting for the show to begin. Also
there was a group of comics waiting to see who would get to perform that night.
After three steps into the club, Lars Callieou stepped out
from behind sound booth to my right. I did not see him when I entered.
He blocked my way and while smiling said “Hey Buddy. How are
you doing?”
I was confused as to what was happening and responded,”I
don’t know.”
Then he screamed, “Do you fucking like it?” at which point
he punched me on the right side of my head.
He then grabbed me by my coat and started hitting me in the
face and head multiple times.
I was able to cover my face with my hands but he seriously
bruised my hands. I also had bruises on the back and sides of my head. Every single
blow was to my head. I remember 15
strikes it could have been more.
Someone managed to push him away and then he ran out of the
Casino into his car which happened to be parked by the door.
I am convinced he would have beaten me to death if someone
had not intervened.
An ambulance was called and I was treated for my injuries.
Fortunately there was no permanent damage. I sustained multiple cuts and
bruises but no broken bones.
The following day I filled out a police report.
He was arrested after the Police reviewed the video evidence from multiple recordings at the Casino.
As a result Lars has been banned from the Century Casino and
every Yuks Yuks Comedy Club.
He has made multiple statements saying I had it coming. He does
not think he has done anything wrong and has continually blamed me for what has
happened.
Over the last two years he made false statement as to the
events of that day. And has maintained that his actions are justified and that
it was a “fight”.
On September 6th 2013, Lars plead guilty to the
court. He has also made statement that the charges had been dropped for lack of
evidence. This statement is false.
I am currently awaiting the results of sentencing to see if
he will be incarcerated. I hope they will not be lenient due to the fact he
shows no remorse for his actions.
Lars decided to assault me due to the fact that I forwarded
this link to a friend of mine
The person I forwarded it too then sent it to his
girlfriend.
Lars states that I sent it directly to his girlfriend and
had been harassing her. This statement is false. Below is an email Lars sent me.
I was the 15th person to receive a forward to his
public blog that was easy to access. The individual who sent me the link is
terrified that Lars will assault them as well.
As a result Lars erased his blog but someone backed it up.
That was February 28, 2011. Lars called me screaming, “I’m
going to fucking kill you”.
I told him not to never call me again.
Lars posted the following on his blog
Notice how he never states what I did and all he does is say
I am terrible.
I also seem to “hide in a world of shadows“and “shatter
worlds”. I didn’t know that I was Scorpion from Mortal Kombat.
One of my friends who is a Criminal Psychologist read the
blog. He told me the guy was delusional and made statements consistent with
sociopathic behaviour. He told me to expect a violent outcome due to the fact
that Lars seemed to consider himself blameless. It appeared that Lars did not
seem to think he was in the wrong at and he was so detached from reality that
demonizing me was the only logical course of action
The next day a friend of mine called saying Lars was raving
that he was going to attack me on sight and did not care if he went to jail.
I was receiving multiple warnings from different people
stating Lars was making statement he was going to attack me.
I mistakenly made the assumption that Lars had some common
decency and respect for the law.
Fast forward to June 2, 2011. Where the incident above
occurred.
The week after he attacked me he decided to have a meeting
with all the amateur comics to explain to them that it was alright to attack me
because I was a terrible person.
And here is copy of the Facebook note he posted after
assaulting me. He erased this.
My Apology
If you're
a non-comedian, this will be of little interest to you. It's work
related.
I've
you've lost even a second of sleep over what happened last Thursday. I'm
sincerely sorry. If thinking about it bothers you, I'm truly sorry.
Despite what some people might think, it wasn't planned. You might not
believe that and I understand. The last few times I've had a Thursday off
I messaged the club and asked if they could spare a spot. I was there
hoping to get on, just like everyone else. I want to apologize to you.
I'd like
you to ask yourself something, an honest question if you will. I'd say
most of you have been doing comedy less than 5 years. The Lion's Head and
Druid have been running for 3 years. That's 156 spots. In all that
time, have I ever had a negative word to say? Has there ever been a time
when I didn't greet you with a smile and a handshake or a hug? During the
times we were on the road together, did I ever do anything underhanded?
Ask this, have I EVER done anything... think hard... have I ever done anything
to you? Can you think of a time when I personally wronged you or another
person before last Thursday? I always liked headliners who paid for gas,
who picked up a drink or two and maybe even dinner. I once wrote an
obituary for myself, this is how I would want people to look at my life when
it's over:
Lars
Callieou
1975-2041
The world
was abBetter place because he was in it
That's
it. That's all I've ever wanted. I have always believed in random
acts of kindness, I love the idea of brightening someone's day. Not just in
comedy, in life. If you had a show, I helped promote it, if you had a
spot, I stuck to my time, if I didn't get a spot, I never said a word, stayed
and watched the show and then complimented you on the new bit. I'm not a
saint, obviously, but I don't know how many people could say I've done them
wrong. I'd like to think that number in the comedy community is around 2.
I want to
write a sincere apology, from my heart, to all of you. Just before that,
I'd like up to ask yourself if I've made your life better or worse in time
you've known me. If I've helped your comedy career or hurt it? If
I've ever gone out of my way to do something kind. Did I bring you on the
road or put in a word for you at a club or ask you to be on a show? I
didn't ask for anything in return, I did those things because I wanted the
world to be a better place. Have I been bad for comedy, or does the sum
of all the good, not outweigh the bad? Take that into consideration as
you judge me for my mistakes (even ones as awful as this). You're
entitled to your opinion and what happened, will never happen again. It
was terrible and if I could take it back, I would.
To the
Edmonton Comedy Community:
I'm
sincerely sorry for what happened last Thursday. I'm sorry if you were
there and even if you weren't. I'm sorry for disrespecting the club and
the show. I'm sorry if you're feeling lost, feeling like you don't know
what to do about it. Not knowing where to find answers is sometimes the
hardest thing. When something awful happens, something that could have
been prevented, it leaves us all wondering 'why'? There are a lot of
questions. Some will never be answered, but I will do my best to
try. A friend of mine had a talk with me today and we're going to make
certain you never have to deal with something like this again. I hope you
can find peace in your heart, I won't ask forgiveness, not because I don't want
it, but because I don't think it's fair to ask. I understand if you don't
want me at your shows. I understand if you aren't interested in
associating with me. I'm sorry for any grief this has caused you. If
you'd like me to apologize to you in person, I will absolutely. I'm going
to work on being a better person.
Sincerely,
Lars
Callieou
P.S.
Please don't comment, send a private message if you have something you'd like
to know (or say). I'm sorry.
So he never makes a statement as to what happened in that at
all. He also never says hes sorry for what he did. He is only sorry for what
happened. He’s sorry he got arrested and that there are laws that exist to
stabilize society. Makes a lot of statements as to what a great guy he is. And
does not say what happened at all.
So this is what happened
I received a forward to this blog http://crazybarryblog.blogspot.ca/
I sent it to someone who sent it to Lars girlfriend at the
time.
Lars not understanding the concept of the internet decides
to absolve the person who sent it to his girlfriend of any blame. In his mind
physically assaulting me will fix everything and I should be grateful to him
for enriching my life.
So four months later he hides in the sound booth of the
comedy club where I cannot see him. Then pops out like a deranged jack in the
box and begins to punch me repeatedly in the face.
From the attack we can draw three possible conclusions.
1
)
It was spontaneous and Lars attacked me because
he cannot control himself. So much like a wild animal like say a BEAR. He is
incapable of not acting savagely and it is in his nature to attack because
bears don’t know any better.
2)
He intentionally planned to attack me at that
time and place because he knew I was going to be there due to the fact I attend
the show every week. He had not been there in over a year.
3)
He attacked me because he thinks people of color
are not human beings and therefore not subject to being treated with common
decency. As are the principle of Adolph Hitler after whom he was named.
And after all this. He concocted a ridiculous story which I
heard from other people that he encountered. Due to the fact he could not deal
with the truth.
Lars has publicly referred to what happened as an
“altercation” and a “fight”.
After talking to different people all over Canada and the US
this the version of event that Lars has recounted.
I had been trying to destroy his life. So I cracked his
secret BLOG. Then forwarded it to his girlfriend and kept calling her. Then I
go in his face and he punched me because I had it coming.
First of all BlogSpot is not Encrypted.
Second I did not send it to his girlfriend.
Third no one made you post your thoughts on internet
publicly.
And due to the fact that a lot of stupid rednecks and uncle
toms live in Edmonton. His fabrication was proliferated throughout the country.
The reason I made no statement was I was waiting for the trial to be over.
I have had some people tell me I had it coming. Or they feel
bad for Lars because he has legal hassles. So that’s why I have such a love
affair with the comedy community here.
Some people have made jokes and think it’s funny. Or that it
was a “fight”. They tell me to let it go. I refuse to do that because I was subjected to illegal abuse over the fact someone was angry.
So I have chronicled exactly what happened here.
September 6th 2013. After multiple continuances
by Lars trying to delay the inevitable.
He plead Guilty because I guess his lawyer convinced him
that telling a judge a guy had it coming is not a justifiable defense. See we
live in a world with laws which Adolph does not seem to respect unless it
applies to him.
I fully expect violent retaliation from posting this. I know
what I am dealing with now and refused to be intimidated by a petty violent
bully.
